I am not going to
be hard on myself, but I sort of feel like I took one step backwards in my self-LOVE experience. I know, Know, KNOW wearing braids is not the better option for my hair! Yet, here I am kicking my braids for the moment! I am kind of reminded about this when I think of my natural wearing Friend and Sister in Christ. She said I can 
call her Porsha83. I want to commit to myself that when it is time to take these braids down, I am going to stay natural no matter what. Perhaps, if I "put it in writing" I will be able to ... I am so late doing this, but here are a few of pictures of Porsha83 . She is my girl, and the “girl” in my graduate program that I wrote about on my first blog post dated Wednesday, February 28, 2007, “Being Natural is True Freedom and Internal Joy”. Her hair is so beautiful to me and so is she. Her hair is so full. It is so textured. I thank you God for the courage this lady has helped me capture. It is such an experience in self-LOVE to go from wearing braids in my hair, to confidently wearing my own natural, textured, short, kinky, coily, wavy, nappy hair. I am looking forward to the next stage (LOCKING MY HAIR).
She told me in class the other day; she is going to lock her hair in the near future too. I believe without a shadow of a doubt this will be so perfect for her, she will be PHENOMENAL!She is a hair inspiration for me because she started her natural self-LOVE experience with the Big Chop, rocked her TWA and now two years later has abundant beautiful mass of lengthy, voluminous, healthy, natural hair.
Porsha83, if you are reading this, thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU for helping me get to the “next level” with your excellent support, your true compassion, and your great conversations. I am glad I KNOW YOU!
If anyone out there besides God is listening, feel free to share and post a response.
Sis. RJQueen10
16 comments:
I only had time for a quick read through your blog today. (Although I did read it from top to bottom, I skipped around a bit and skimmed in places.) I will have to come back another day when I have more time to read it all in-depth.
I have felt the same way you have about a lot of things. I had a lot of indecision about starting my locks and what kind and what size and what IF I spent ALL THAT MONEY and didn't like them?
But now I couldn't be happier.
I wrote a post about the importance of finding a good consultant. I think it makes so much of a difference in your overall satisfaction because it helps so much to have an informed guide and friend to help you along the way. It doesn't hurt if that same person can hook you up with awesome hairstyles!
Alas, I am like you...A long-winded blogger/commenter. I have had several comments that expanded into posts.
A kind word of advice: Don't feel like you are moving backwards. You'll be fine. Like my consultant told me: You will get the locks you are supposed to have when the time is right.
And you will wear them with confidence.
I am sure of it!
Keep learning to love yourself and remember your God-given beauty!
BlackRussian (My long-winded soul blog sister mate),
I am honored that YOU have taken the time to my blogspot a quick but thorough reading. Your comment here of course stimulated me to view your blogspot. Thus far, I have read your first post and what you have shared is humble, transparent, and admirable. Thanks for creating your blogspot for us to come and enjoy. I will definitely be back to read more, More, MORE so get ready for my long winded replies!
It is great to know that I am not alone in this phase of locking my hair, “indecision, fear, costs, and how my locks will look in the long run”. At first I could not appreciate how much time it is taking to actually get my locks, but now I can see that this time will really seal my “love affair” with my natural hair. One by one those obstacles are being ELIMINATED. So now I am able to thank God for a second chance at PATIENCE.
I do believe when I get my locks (which ever I choose to have installed), that I will be extremely happy. I believe this is the BEST option for my hair and I am tired of trying all of the other methods of hair care. To me locks are very similar to my small braids, yet healthier. I look forward to the styling versatility and the ability to workout as often as I like (I am addicted to exercising too) and not have to worry about shrinkage in my hair just to rename a couple of the benefits of locking.
I will look for your post on the importance of finding a GREAT consultant, I am sure our views are very similar. This is really important to me, because in the past I have never put this much energy into who took care of my hair. I just trusted them to KNOW what they were doing, but those hair care methods were not for RJQueen10 and therefore my hair suffered. Now I know the perfect solution for my hair and I want the highest quality consultant to go along with it. I know I am not asking too much and I know she is out there.
Your long windedness will NEVER bother me. I welcome it and enjoy it. I do wonder, speculate, and ponder on if after my new birth, my locking installation, my final OUTWARD expression of healing; will I be my succinct in my writings? Will I have gotten all of the PAIN out? Will I feel less of a need to explain myself? I wonder what I will look like on the INSIDE when my hair is LOCK! Just a thought or two…
Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU for your kind word of advice. I did sort of feel like I was moving backwards, but I really wanted to make sure I was not being too hard on myself. I can be my worse critic. I so look forward: optimistically, eagerly, excitedly, hopefully, enthusiastically, joyfully to confidently ROCKIN’ LOCKS IN MY HAIR!
Sis. RJQueen10
This response is so long it could actually be a post. That is why it took me so long to respond back (plus graduate school and 4 year old twins). I wanted to make sure I said everything back to YOU that I needed to say and not miss anything.
(Note to self: The previous post was deleted because I forgot to add spaces between my paragraphs when I cut and pasted it from word.)
Dear RJ Queen: So glad to hear that you are sharing your journey with Porsha. Sounds like you will get a lot of encouragement her. I really like your hairstyle. Looking good.
greetings queen.
reading your post @ stepping back reminded me of the sankofa bird. it's an adinkra symbol of the akan people. the akan can be found in ghana and other parts of west africa.
i found this definition on wikipedia:
"The concept of Sankofa is derived from Adinkra of the Akan people of West Africa. Sankofa is transliterated in the Akan language as "se wo were fi na wosan kofa a yenki." Literally translated it means "it is not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot". Sankofa is used today across the pan-African world to promote the idea that African people must go back to our roots in order to move forward. Visually and symbolically "Sankofa" is expressed as a mythic bird that flies forward while looking backward with an egg (symbolizing the future) in its mouth."
so you see what you consider a "step backwards" may, God-willing, lead to your eventual step forward into the future. be encouraged!
also, check out the film sankofa by haile gerima if you have not already seen it. when i used to do sisterlocks this was the first movie that i played for all of my clients during their installation. and yes, with a smoothie (lol).
all the best
mayibuye africa
muslimahlocs
Muslimahlocs,
SANKOFA, I LOVE THIS TERM! I LOVE IT! LOVE IT! First of all, thank you for taking the time to put some long-windedness to your comment! I am flattered and appreciative of the way you broke down the definition of Sankofa! I have not seen the movie, but NOW I WANT TO! I just hope this movie does not cause me to feel unnecessary anger! Knowledge of slavery IS important, but the STORIES themselves are PAINFUL!
There was a local place called Sankofa Cafe that I used to LOVE to go to on Friday nights! There, spoken word poetry was expressed and the environment was clean--no alcohol beverages, which is difficult to find now-a-days. There was(is???) a live band that played(s??) jazz and instrumentals to match the words spoken by the poets.
But if we lose sight of our original purpose (in any endeavor), we are all susceptible to being perverted and corrupted. If PROFIT becomes the objective over "it is not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot" then ALL is lost. I went to this cafe regularly for about two years and I never thought to ask the owners what the name actually meant! I am happy you have come along in 2007 and appropriately related this word SANKOFA to my present situation and broke its meaning down so I will understand! I am grateful to ya!
Okay, you know you got a smile out of me when you mentioned the smoothies! Wow! I bet you had the most spoiled Sisterlocked clients to ever exist! You educated and enlightened their spirits and then nourished their insides with a smoothie. See, you just confirm, that I am not asking for too much in my "IDEAL CONSULTANT!". (Smile)
Now I have to go to your blogspot and see if you ever talked about your consultant days? I don't ever remember seeing anything though. Were you a consultant pre-marriage? Why did you stop being a consultant? If you don't mind sharing, if it is private you can g-mail me. (I know, I am kind of being nosy, curious, wondering…).
Why did you play the movie Sankofa for your clients? What were you striving to achieve in relationship to their hair being Sisterlocked?
Thank you God, because now I feel so ENCOURAGED! (I am peacefully smiling!)
Sis. RJQueen10
Aya,
Thank you for stopping by. Thank your for leaving your comment! You are encouraging and you are supportive! Just confirming what you already KNOW! Thank you for being you!
Porsha, is my girl! I am proud that I know her!
Thank you for complimenting my hairstyle. I give God all of the glory. I appreciate that my braider (is that what they are called?) anyway I am glad the lady who braids my hair; fit me into her schedule on such short notice. Usually I make an appointment a week to two weeks in advance, not the day before! (Thank you Mrs Florence.)
I actually requested that she give me a style. I usually wear a bob style. She was kind enough to draw a picture on paper to show me how my ends would curl up all over the place. I was very please with the end result!
She is very detailed oriented and very good at braiding and very patient! She does not speak English very well, but she manages to make you feel comfortable. Her husband even unhooked his connection to the internet, so I could operate my wireless laptop while I was there. I did not know he was going to do that, but I appreciate the gesture never-the-less!
Sis. RJQueen10
greetings queen.
you are inviting me to be long-winded with all of those questions. i will do my best to answer them:
Now I have to go to your blogspot and see if you ever talked about your consultant days?
i don't think that i have discussed that. maybe i should do so real soon.
Were you a consultant pre-marriage?
yes. but i had stopped long before i met my dh.
Why did you stop being a consultant?
too many clients. too little time. i had a demanding full-time day job and it just got to be too much. i started doing them back when consultants were harder to find. i met so many sisters that wanted sisterlocks that i felt compelled to learn how to do them so i could help these sisters find themselves. my first 5-6 clients were girlfriends and then word-of-mouth started to spread and i had more clients than i ever wanted or could handle. some flying in from out of state even. so i let some go by attrition or referrals to other consultants. others were diy'ers so i taught them how to do their own. and then finally, i moved to another city. so that was that.
Why did you play the movie Sankofa for your clients?
on avg. it took me @ 6-10 to do a full head. and there is only so much talking you can do and still get the job done. showing the movie was my not so subtle way of sharing a little bit about my world views and it's a great discussion piece. i found that a lot of sisters and brothers who sat in my chair were in the process discovering themselves, their culture, history, etc. i was reared with a pan-african mindset so i wanted to share a lot of the info that i had access to with my clients. and i had quite a few older female clients who shared a lot of common sense and life lessons with me. i also picked up a few big brothers who are still looking out for me. we learned a lot from each other. i made some really great friends that i am still connected with to this day.
What were you striving to achieve in relationship to their hair being Sisterlocked?
hmmm...i would have to say that my goal was to be a facilitator or a soundboard for my clients' journey. for some that journey began and ended with getting their hair locked, which was quite a journey for sisters who had not seen their natural hair texture since their pre-teens.
for others, it began with or was a part of their journey to "self-love" as you would call it and it still continues.
i met sisters who had barely been around their own block who are now travelling the world; sisters who could not name a country in africa that did not include the word africa (i.e. south africa) who are now trying to send their kids over there; brothers with perms (yes perms!) who would not give a sista' the time of day who are now equal opportunity in their marital prospects. that's the part that i miss.
muslimahlocs
thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! You are such a phenomenal woman (and so is your sister)! You exceedingly and abundantly answered my questions and I feel so honored that you took time out of your life to do so. I appreciate YOU!
I believe if you blog about your Sisterlock™ consulting days, that will make some excellent reading. I bet it will be especially informative for us novice’s out here! So I will be first in line to read, Read, READ about your experiences!
Yes, it is a joy to be able to find RJQueen10 at the ripe young age of 34 and ½ years of age, not too bad. Yes, I believe once I get my hair locked I will be a walking billboard! I just believe this is so integral to being who God wanted us to be all along. So just like sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, I will have to share the good news of wearing one’s hair natural, chemical free, unaltered from God’s original design.
My long term goal is to be a diy’er. I want to either put locks in my daughter hair or if not, I definitely want to be the one who maintains them. When I care for her hair, it is such a bonding experience I don’t want to give that time away to anyone else.
Okay, you moved to another city, did you move FROM California? For some reason, I am having vague memories of reading you were from Cali? So you did not want to be a consultant here, where you are now relocated to?
That is awesome to stay connected to people. I must learn to do that better in the future.
I like how you saw yourself as “a facilitator or a soundboard for your clients' journey”. That is pretty PHENOMENAL! Thanks for understanding where I am coming from, when I describe my JOURNEY as “self-LOVE”, it is real cool feedback when someone understands your viewpoint.
You know you messed me up a little bit when you said you met “brothers with perms (yes perms!)”. Okay, I am back.
Well, although you miss some parts of being a Sisterlocks™ consultant, you now have the DFW ladies of Sisterlocks™ (I think I said that correctly), you have this online blogging connection, and you have your blog to share, Share, SHARE! Thanks for being a presence out here in blog-land and taking time to have conversations with ME!
Sis. RJQueen10
Note to myself: I deleted the previous comment, because it was a double post!
Sis. RJQueen10
You've been tagged!
Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to then report this on their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. They then need to tag 7 others and list their names on their blog. They are also asked to leave a comment for each of the tagged, letting them know they have been tagged and to read the blog.
Spread the Good news Sis!!!
BTW- It looks like Blackrussian and I have tagged you. Check out my blog for instructions and have fun :)
queen:
you inspired me to start a new blog. check it out at http://www.sisterlockshairtales.blogspot.com
Muslimahlocs,
I am honored to be the one to have inspired you to share and blog about your consultant days. However, I don't understand the need for a whole new, completely new blog. I believe these posts will be a great addition to your current blog. That is just my opinion, most people who view your blog are not going to know to go there. But then again you could be starting a new blog because you are going to UNRETIRE and you would like to have this blog to refer them to. I don't know???
It is a lovely blog page by the way. I love the references you gave to other Sisterlock Consultants.
Sis. RJQueen10
BlackRussian and Chosen Vessel,
I will be back real soon with my tag responses!
Sis. RJQueen10
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